How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
