yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
