Your dad touched me again.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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