Even the bartender felt bad for me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
