I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm passing your future prison.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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