Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Are my feet made of real feet?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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