But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
