More tranny stories later!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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