she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
high people should be assigned attendants
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
