I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
