I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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