Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
