I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
