I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
