You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
