you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
