i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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