I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
