Just cropdusted the office
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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