the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
