i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
