so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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