i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
what day is it and did you see me today?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize