In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
