we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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