You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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