I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize