She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
