no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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