wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Never underestimate the power of titties
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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