Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
