Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
