Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize