I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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