i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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