whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
