I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
