i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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