The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
