i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
