So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The power of my boobs compel you
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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