Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
