I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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