If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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