Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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