Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
