plz talk dirty to me
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
