hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
