when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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