Clothes are such an inconvenience.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize