omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize