Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We need to get me chipped asap
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
