i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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