I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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