if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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