I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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