we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
