Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
