Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
