There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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