dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
