you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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